Monday, October 13, 2014

recycled joke

Dad used to tell me the joke about the true cost of heating with firewood.  The list looked something like this (prices from long ago):

Heat with Wood

First year costs:

2 stoves and installation $1385.
Removal of hot water baseboard and boiler $238.
Search for reputable wood dealer N/A $76.
Chain saw $210.
Ax, wedges, maul, cant hook, etc. $119.
Old truck (junk after 1st load) $595.
Newer truck $8645.
Tire chains $88.
Replace truck's rear window (twice) $310.
Fine for cutting wrong trees $500.
5-acre woodlot $4995.
Splitting machine $950.
14 cases of beer $126.
6 fifths ginger brandy $38.
Fine for littering $250.
Towing charge (brook to road) $50.
Gas, oil, files, Band-aids $97.
Doctor's fee (sawdust in eye) $45.
Medical cost for broken toe (dropped log) $128.
Safety shoes $35.
Attempt to fix burned hole in carpet $76.
New living room carpet $699.
Paint living room $110.
Taxes on woodlot $44.
Woodlot boundary dispute settlement $465.
Roof repair after chimney fire $840.
Fine for assaulting fireman $50.
Extension ladder $55.
Chimney brush $22.
Medical fee for broken leg (fell off roof) $478.
Chimney cleaning service $90.
Replace coffee table (chopped up and burned while too drunk to bring firewood up from cellar) $79.
Divorce settlement $14,500.
EXPENSES $36,388

Sale of hot water boiler system $125.
Fuel oil savings $376.
CREDITS $501.

NET COST OF FIRST YEAR WOOD BURNING OPERATION; $35,887.




My husband will be a dad in about two months.  During the last months of pregnancy it is normal for women to get the insatiable urge to clean and reorganize the house.  I've discovered the nesting instinct seems to apply to the guys too, but it extends out of the house, into the yard, and even into the forest.


The wood is stacked nicely under cover.  I'm so happy to see the results, especially since I don't want to add up the cost of the chainsaw, axe, fuel, oil, face shield with attached hard-hat and ear protection (chainsaw chaps yet to be purchased).  For added safety, we hired this guy to clean our chimney.


If this all fails I can still switch the furnace on.  It's lovely to be self-sufficient but remain on the grid.